Talk to Each Other

Couples counselling and marriage guidance

Save your marriage and get you back to the couple you once were.

Sean Delaney Psychothreapist Bournemouth


How I Work

Sean Delaney Relationship Therapy Pine Court Bournemouth


Tailored to You
Like individual therapy how I work with couples varies with each couple. You may be in constant conflict, or trying to recover from an affair. Some parties just want an action plan to get them back on course, others have frustrations simmering under the surface, or it might just feel the intimacy and care you had for each other has faded and you fear you are drifting apart.

In couple counselling however, no sides are taken and both participants can expect (and indeed are expected) to be respected and listened to in a non-judgemental environment. I always ensure that both partners get a chance to share their responses, in order to promote understanding and also model of way of talking that can be replicated outside the counselling room.

Multiple Sessions Per Week
For some couples, depending on budget and availability, multiple sessions per week might be more helpful. When you are locked in conflict mode, breaking out of an entrenched pattern of blame and demand is crucial and there are times when once weekly meetings may simply insufficient to get beyond the stalemate.

Moving between Individual & Couples Therapy
As someone who works with both couples and individuals, it can helpful to move parties between individual and couples counselling. There maybe issues that arise in relationship therapy that you feel you would rather discuss in private, or that are blocking your progress as a couple. Sometimes this may come from you but equally there are times I may suggest a period of individual therapy which can either run along-side or alternating with couples therapy.

Statement of Commitment
You may find it useful to have a typed document outlining what both parties can expect from each other. This can be helpful in situations where there are considerable family and work pressures. Such agreements could include: the notion of a date night or agreement to have weekly check-in sessions, to who picks up the kids on what day or an agreed monthly budget.


Attachment Styles
We all bring our personal histories into our relationships. Attachment styles is an attempt to explain scientifically why some relationships work when others fail. It believes our relationship with our parents is repeated in adulthood resulting in three distinct styles:

  • Secure – confident in their view of themselves
  • Anxious – underlying concern they are good enough for their partner
  • Avoidant – underlying fear of emotional intimacy

However the point of therapy is not to shift you to a secure attachment; it is about giving you an insight into how both you and your partner think or behave and use those insights to create a more harmonious relationship.


Drama Triangle
The drama triangle describes a pattern of behaviour that some couples fall into and has three roles: victim, persecutor and rescuer. As opposed to talking like adults, you might find yourself constantly criticising your partner, or often feel as if you’re partner is letting you down. You may be petrified of disagreeing with your partner for fear of their reaction.

One aspect of this model is the shift in roles (for example from rescuer to persecutor) and the often violent arguments that follow seemingly from nothing. As with attachment styles, the aim of therapy is to increase your awareness of what is happening, and step in before it escalates.


Life Pressures
But equally it is important to understand conflict within a relationship can stem from more than mal-adaptive attachment styles or conflicting personality types. Often therapist tend to down-play the practical issues, but maintaining a healthy relationship, running a harmonious household particularly when children are involved, takes a lot of hard work, negotiation and difficult decisions. It is easy for communication to break-down into petty arguments and hostile behaviour under the pressure of being in each other’s space. Therapy can provide an opportunity to work out the finer details in a neutral environment and gives each party a chance to heal the relationalship and discuss unmet needs.

Sean Delaney Relationship Therapy



Please contact me if you have any questions or would like to arrange an initial consultation.
I will always aim to respond within the same day

Suite 17, Pine Court,
36 Gervis Road, Bournemouth

Sean Delaney Psychotherapy Bournemouth


© Sean Delaney Therapy 2018
BACP Registration Number: 378390

ICO Registration Number: ZA539059